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Unwrap your aperture from your candy Cheez-Delivery Snack’m Tube-Brand Blah Snaxxx and pay attention, America. This is important. Sure, you’ve been accomplishing your best to absorb your anniversary 137-gallon allocation of aerial fructose blah syrup, and your 92 pounds of Cheez annually. But do your accepted condiments accommodate a acceptable bulk of saturated fat and bogus flavors? Or could you be accomplishing more?

Here’s one easy, affectionate affair you can do to accord to America’s War on Health: instead of application apparent old ketchup (zero fat) on your burgers, hot dogs, fries, popcorn, ice cream, and waffles, why not use Agronomical bathrobe instead? There’s no easier way to add bags of calories of authentic fat to your diet every day, with no added vitamins, while auspiciously causing the blow of the apple to wretch in abhorrence at our aggregate abandonment to a activity of benumbed automatic scooters through the grocery store. The WSJ’s Sarah Nassauer, who should be nominated for the a Pulitzer in the “Investigative Coverage of Our Gaping Maws” category, reports:

A new thicker, creamier adaptation of its acclaimed Hidden Valley Agronomical Bathrobe has accustomed in a bid to get bodies to use agronomical like they do ketchup.

The aggregation isn’t authoritative attenuate comparisons. “The New ‘Ketchup'” proclaims the label. It is added to a “retro-style” ketchup canteen to signal, “hey, this is ketchup,” says Jon Balousek, carnality admiral and accepted administrator for the food, charcoal and cat-litter businesses at Clorox Co., which owns Hidden Valley.

“The abstraction hit back an controlling watched his college-age babe ‘bath her absolute apricot in agronomical dressing,'” continues the story, creating the array of blue-blooded conception allegory that will absolutely be anesthetized bottomward for ancestors to appear in our elementary academy additive classes. That college-age daughter’s name: The Statue of Liberty.

[WSJ. Photo via FB]

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