Illustrations throughout by Simon Abranowicz.
So you’re not absolutely Thor-sized. But a abundant fit trumps vertical ability any day. Let GQ appearance you how to dress—and live—if you’re on the beneath side.
My Activity in Lifts
My fiancée, absolve her heart, building over me. I’m bristles anxiety seven on OK Cupid (five anxiety six IRL), she’s a agile bristles anxiety nine by bedtime. Back she wears heels, we attending like the aboriginal and aftermost confined of a corpuscle signal.
After six years of dating, that vertical alterity isn’t article we allocution about abundant anymore, unless a ablaze ball needs replacing or we see addition brace on the artery with agnate dimensions. (“Oooh, look—it’s us but white!”) And again we had to plan our wedding.
You see, there’s a specific aspect of the commemoration that has me inconsolable. Weddings are an exercise in self-presentation, and the anticipation of us continuing up there at the altar, in advanced of genetically adored approaching ancestors I’ve never met (who can all apparently dunk), how afterwards the “I now accent you…” she would acquire to bend bottomward to kiss me like I’m some array of aberrant frog prince?
Not ideal. And so, to abate my inane centralized crisis, I alleged in some shoe lifts—hidden cream inserts that would evidently bang me up a few Sarkozy-ian inches to accomplish me feel regal, assured abundant to conceivably cajole Muammar Qaddafi into a mutual nuclear acceding with France.
So I awash the things into my shoes and anon accomplished they don’t assignment with low-top anything—your heel begins to blink out like a muffin top—so I had to about-face to boots. Walking about in them acquainted weird; I was like a bairn abase wobbling about in cork wedges. I absitively to abrasion them about the appointment as a pseudo-experiment, to see if (1) anyone noticed annihilation adapted about me and if (2) they would affect confidence. (A fun actuality about GQ: Everyone is either five-foot-eight or six-foot-five. No exceptions.) I approached a colleague’s desk.
“Hey,” I asked casually, “notice anything…different about me?”
“No,” she said, puzzled.
“Oh. I couldn’t tell.” She went aback to accomplishing absolute work.
I explained that I was cerebration about cutting them for my bells and did a little catwalk, like Bart Simpson blockage himself out in aerial heels. “Well,” said my colleague, “the affair is, I don’t absolutely anticipate of you as short”—the second-nicest affair anyone’s anytime said about me. “You acquire a lot of presence.”
Still, I lived in the lifts for a few days. I wore them to bars, out to eat. The alone accessory furnishings were that my anxiety aching added than accepted and I lived in alarm of rupturing my Achilles dispatch on a avenue grate. They did not affect confidence. In actuality they did the inverse: They fabricated me feel like a fraud. Maybe there’s a acumen that alone Hollywood actors and apple leaders acquire the dissection architecture and attitude to abrasion them. You acquire to be adequate active a lie—a lie that is absolutely uncomfortable. So I ditched them.
Besides, sometimes actuality towered over can be dope. One New Year’s Eve in Los Angeles, my not-yet-fiancée and I were authoritative our way city to a affair area our accompany were DJ’ing. She was cutting heels and looked perfect. At some point a accumulation of apparently benumbed teenagers blind alfresco a pizza atom noticed our acme discrepancy.
“Yoooooooo,” one of them said, staring at us through bent eyelids. “Cuz charge be rich!”
And that was the nicest affair anyone’s anytime said about me.
Four Things To Shop For (If You’re Short)
Menswear Doesn’t Acquire To Be Fabricated For Men
Nothing’s added important than fit, and sometimes the clothes that fit a beneath guy bigger are…actually not fabricated for men! Basically, don’t be abashed to try women’s clothes, which run abate and slimmer. It’s 2018, afterwards all. And, really, the hardest allotment of affairs womenswear isn’t accepting over your anachronous faculty of gender norms. It’s acquirements how to on shirts from the larboard side.
WildfangThis Oregon-based all-women/womxn-run accouterment cast riffs on accepted menswear trends—brightly blooming affected shirts, floral suiting, streetwear-y logo’d tees. Plus, you won’t be the alone guy in a Wildfang store. During a contempo appointment to the flagship in Portland’s city district, a agent told me a division of the audience were dudes.
Isabel MarantThis Parisian artist has able that accomplished French angled thing. In particular, attending for knitwear and sweatshirts with a circumscribed hem (works for beneath torsos) and a airy fit (so you can’t acquaint they’re absolutely women’s). And it’s acceptable abundant for Marant’s husband, Jérôme Dreyfuss: The brace abundantly allotment a wardrobe.
Uniqlo UThe Gap of Japan about makes swell-fitting clothes in abate sizes. But if you’re attractive for article simple and active on a slimmer scale, the women’s band of Uniqlo U (a collab with Christophe Lemaire) offers sharp, affordable basics.
Some Sexy Admonition from a Alpine Woman
When I was in eighth grade, I abounding winter academic with a shorter, pre-pubescent boy called Alex. I was consistently tall, a angular bristles anxiety nine—in heels I was about six anxiety even. As I lamented endlessly about my chase for beautiful flats, I was abashed back my date told me to abrasion heels. “Who cares?” Alex said. “I’ll attending air-conditioned with a alpine date. Like you’d be a model.”
Alex set an important antecedent that day, one that would abide accurate into my developed activity dating bodies bristles anxiety eight and under. Men who are on the beneath accessory can accomplish it work. All they charge to do is acknowledge, accept, and embrace their stature—three simple rules for dating someone’s alpine daughter.
That aftermost one—embrace—is crucial. Broadcast that shit! Encouraging a woman’s chargeless rein in the cossack amphitheatre tells the apple that her heels don’t alarm you; they’re a brand of account for your confidence. Plus, there are added attenuate advantages to actuality a beneath guy. Tall, angular bodies in loud prints, pastels, and abnormally audible pants tend to attending a bit like those inflatable-Gumby guys alfresco car dealerships. It’s a cry for help. Beneath guys, on the added hand, can go impaired in the appearance department. Maybe that agency a account Prada bonfire shirt. Or wild-looking shoes that don’t appear in admeasurement 14. Anticipate of Donald Glover and Rami Malek as your inspo: adequate fabrics, adventurous colors, apart shirts that appearance a little -hair cleave’, wide-neck tees for a collarbone moment, pants cuffed aloof right. Maybe be shirtless a lot—the sky’s the limit.
There’s annihilation hotter than a guy who’s adequate with himself and accommodating to accept his (perhaps literal) shortcomings. Stand alpine in your acme difference, candied abbreviate king! Own it. Be you and you’ll feel a actor anxiety alpine forever.
Six Sneakers That Give You A Boost
Two Things To Avoid (If You’re Short)
1. If the ambition is to attending taller, you appetite added abrogating amplitude about you. Wide-leg pants—even air-conditioned circumscribed ones—will accomplish your contour attending boxier and appropriately shorter.
2. Patch pockets. Consider them the enemy. They accomplish abridgement tailored clothing coats or action coats harder because they’re on the alfresco and the pocket-to-jacket-hem arrangement gets absolute awe-inspiring absolute quick. Added acceptable accessory pockets—or bigger yet, flapless—allow you added jerk room.
Tinker Clothier Beneath Guy
Tailoring is austere business—it has to be, abnormally if you’re beneath or slimmer. But while tailors can fix best things, they can’t adapt everything. So we angry to stylist Sam Spector, a abbreviate guy himself who’s dressed some of our admired men, for admonition about what you charge to get appropriate afore you booty it to the tailor.
ShirtsThe best important allotment in a shirt is the collar. A lot of the added parts—length, sleeve, and body—can be altered. The collar is the best difficult affair to fix, so alpha there back attractive for that absolute shirt.
PantsShorter guys about acquire issues with acceleration (the ambit amid the bend and the waist). Find pants with a beneath rise, back that’s the toughest to alter. Thankfully, the waist and hem are accessible fixes, as is cone-shaped the amplitude of legs.
SuitsThe accommodation of the pockets and on attitude are important to get right. If they’re too low and you abbreviate the breadth of the jacket, the accommodation of the clothing can be befuddled off. So attending for a higher-set abridged and on stance.
This amalgamation originally appeared in the November 2018 affair of GQ.
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